I wasn’t thrilled when Arleigh decided to stay home with me instead of joining his siblings at swimming tonight. Heading to the Laundromat has become a matter of gaining a teesy bit of solitary time. It’s not my favorite chore, but sitting there, waiting for the multitude of clothing to tumble itself clean and dry, I usually make time to read, or write, alone. Alone. It’s the alone thing that is appealing to me, not the Laundromat.
I didn’t fight him on it though. If he wanted to come to the Laundromat, Fine. So be it.I had no idea what was in store. Once the 8 baskets were unloaded from the car, I unbuckled my 33 inch assistant and told him to “go sit down”. What followed was a 20 minute monologue, meant to be a dialogue, but it streamed from his mouth faster than high speed internet, and was so completely entertaining, I vowed to jot it down immediately. I took notes people, and this is the replay....
“Mom, what are you doing? I’ll help you. Ugh. Dare, the clothes are in. Now what are you doing? You have money? Which hole does the money go in? What if you don’t have money? Can I press this button? Which one should I push? Is there someone else here? Is that our stuff up dare? Can I push a button? Which button can I push? Hey loook! The clothes are ‘pinning! Wheee! Day are going roun and roun! Look dare’s my orange pajamas! Look mom! My pajamas! Do you see ‘dem? The orange ones? Hee, heee! These chairs are like the metro. They are orange. Do you think they are like the meto? Hey look! Dare’s your boobie sling! It’s going around! Our ‘tuff is going fast! Really fast! Do you see it ‘pinning? I like this trash can. Look the lid goes up and down. Rrrrrreeeeeesshshsh- crash! I can close it! Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down. I wish we had a trash can like ‘dis one. Dis is a nice one, cause the lid goes up and down.
Mom, is ‘dare a lady in here? What is she doing? Why is she putting her ‘dings in dat one? Does she have monies? Hers has water in it. Look it’s water on her clothes. Do you want me to tell her? Can I have someding from dis machine? I will check for monies. Nope, no money in dare. Nope no money in dare. Nope, no money in dare. Nope no money in dare. Mom, dare is no money here. Mom, do you have money? Can I have some? This machine has food and I’m hungry and thirsty. Look, ours is slowing down. It’s getting slower. It’s going to stop. Hers still has water in it. Mom, my shirt is dirty. You should have put dis one in the washer cause it's really really dirty. Bun Bun is dirty. He has peanut butter on him. He doesn’t need a bath ‘dough.
Mom, can we check? Are dey dry? We haf to put in more monies. Can I do it? I want to do it. Let me do it. Can I push da buttons? Please? I did it! Can I push more buttons? Where are buttons I can push? What do those buttons do? Mom, if our clothes are still wet, we put in more monies. Our tuff will never be dry. I can put in the monies for you. Look! Dare’s your boobie sling again! Whooo! It goes round and round and round. Take a picture of me so I can see my tongue. Can I see it? Can I see my tongue? Let me see it.
When will we go home? How long will we be here? I like dis orange seat. Can I climb into the basket? …..”
This monologue continued for quite awhile until he admitted he was tired and ready to go home, which, quite luckily, coincided with the end of the dryer cycles. This little guy knows how to make, one Friday night of good clean fun. (But next time, he’s going swimming and I’m bringing a good book to the Laundromat).