I would so very much love to work on the side as a part time pro photographer. I love photography- from the challenge of trying to capture something with my own camera, to looking at photos from long ago. If it's a photo, I'm interested. For me, there's something incredibly special about capturing a moment and aligning emotion to that moment. But my skills are far from polished. I don't have a bag filled with awesome lenses. I work with what I have, though I know my lack of gear at this point causes me to feel limited. So it is with much frustration, despite workshops and courses, that progress feels so slow. Nevertheless, I utterly love photography.
So it was during an engagement shoot for Tyler and Nicole last week that I was surprised to get cold feet. She's here in Belgium for a work study for one semester. He came to visit. They are engaged to be married in October next year. I was with them for about an hour to take some shots.
This session was such a learning experience. The location got changed. He showed up in a dark shirt despite a chat about 'clothing color pallate'. The weather was dreary and odd. They arrived an hour late. Trying to get them to pose in the ways that I wanted, trying to deflect their recommendations for poses that I knew wouldn't work, trying to pull emotion into the photo, or capture a twinkle of what they see in each other, that was all hard work. I came home stating that perhaps I should just stick with the hobby end of photography. Perhaps I should just save the money I'd spend on another class. Perhaps I should just sell the darn camera. Perhaps I should take up pro-wrestling.
Cold feet- a quintessential sign of anxiety. And just like marriage, a house can't be built from the roof down. Perhaps it's the same for photography, or any passion.
A few days on, I've contemplated further on my chilly toes issue and realized that what has rocked my passion is foundation. So, instead of taking up pro wrestling, which might, in fact, be cheaper, it's back to the drawing board to build a stronger photography foundation all around.
In the meantime, I wish Nicole and Tyler all the best and pray that there are no cold feet for them!